Home

I got home 30 minutes before graduation after an hour ride sitting next to a woman as drunk as a skunk. Chloe did my hair while mom did my makeup. It was the best thing ever. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. 

Seeing everyone brought such an overwhelming happiness to my heart. 

I have only been home for 48 hours and I can't count the number of times already I have thought of my second home-France. Most of the time I think of it with such joy, but on occasionally it is accompanied with an acute pain of the heart. I can't possibly accept that I will never return, so goodbye for now my classy, friendly, beautiful country. 

Don't forget

I'm so scared to forget anything. Not my underwear or toothbrush but my memories. I'm terrified. I don't want the little details to fade from my mind. I lived here. Really lived that in way felt like the first time. 

So here's a list for future me. Future me, don't you dare forget:

How freezing cold the room at the institute was and how you would spend an hour practically on top of the heater. 

The birds chirping in the bathroom. 

The super super early mornings and the thin crackers and tea. 

How scared you were the first day for breakfast.

The night you and Jacob stayed up until 5 talking about stupid things and telling stories. 

Rome. Rome was the bomb. 

The smell of the cafe bar.

Honfleur and how competent you were using French. 

John, Maddie, and Marcie. 

Finding a sand dune to lay down on and just soak up the sun. 

Volleyball. 

Mr. Garnier. 

GBU and the random English phrases from Jeremy and guy-we-always-forget-his-name. (My preciouss)

The adrenaline of getting on and finding a seat on the bus. 

Sleeping on the bus. 

Danielle's sly looks and her dream about Brad Pitt. 

The road trip back from Paris with Elvira. 

The Eiffel Tower with Jacob's family. 

Getting bread in the mornings.

Walking from the apartment to the institute. 

All the people you met from the groups. 

The freedom to go run and walk whenever. 

Being in God's presence on the hour long walks on the beach. 

Coca cola for Troncy's class. 

How you and Jacob both simultaneously forgot your tickets for the play until you guys were half way there. 

The second time you forgot your ticket after multiple reminders and the sheer terror that followed, resulting in a trip home and back. 

Returning to the train station after Rome. 

The train ride back from Rome and the excitement of making the last train by two minutes. 

Running through Paris totally turned around and getting directions. 

Brett and Robin in class. 

Cafeteria time. 

Coffee (espresso really) after lunch at home. 

The really bad jokes from Brett. 

Robin when she gets tired and we both laugh at absolutely nothing. 

Fruity mentos. 

Phase 10 and multiple other card games.

The first game of chess. 

The one time you jumped out and scared Jacob. 

Cleaning bathrooms with great music and dancing all of us working as a team. 

Church in Houlgate and Caen. 

The old man that smelled like baby oil and does his bisous confusingly. 

Salmon and spinach. 

Fresh bread with Camembert. 

The white asparagus soup. 

Your inability to pour a glass of water without spilling any. 

Learning the duet and the song from Pride and Prejudice on the piano. 

How elated you could feel. 

How devastated you could feel. 

The generosity of the French. 

Picking out flowers with Brett and Steve.

Steve and his awkward pauses. 

Meow.

The realization you made that no one else has it figured out either so whatever you do is okay. 

How quickly you learned French. 

How speaking another language is like knowing a secret code and changes your mindset. 

Know that I have this I hope it will be possible for me to not forget but pack it away so that I can handle leaving. 

One Week Exactly

I have never been so torn. I want to go home. But I don't want to leave. I miss my family. But I will miss my family here. 

I have officially started packing. 

I'm leaving a lot of clothes here, and that is refreshing in a way. 

Four chez vous students came yesterday and that has been fun. We walked around town today and visited the market. (Not going to lie, I felt like a pro). Yesterday we visited Monet's house and gardens. 

I spent six hours in the van and four hours in an airport but there wasn't necessarily a dull moment. 

I have noticed that when there is a big change on the horizon for me, I get drowsy. It's the darnest thing. I'm going to label it as a coping mechanism. But my mind is currently mush. 

Fun fact I have learned about myself, people are everything. Having people around and being a listener and listened too, is very important to me. I would not have thought this because I spend an adequate amount of time alone and thought that it is what I preferred. 

Fun fact about France, meals are everything. One does not show up late for a meal. This is unheard of and of the highest offense. I have not been late for food once (shocker). 

The French also love to ponder and make sport of regarding the intricacies and delicate balance of one's (or of another's) love life. But it could also just be Danielle. I will miss her so much. She is one of the few people that I could never forget. She has such a strong and calming presence. She is my adopted grandmother. We have not held a single conversation in English (because it is impossible) but in her words this is        << n'importe quoi. >>

Aujourd'hui et Hier

(Not finished, no worries)

Ma skills

I've been experiencing an artsy flair the past couple weeks. I've learned four songs on the piano (outside of these four I know one tune), worked on a charcoal I started in January, visited quite a few art museums, and lounged in the sun pondering life and such. It has actually been pretty fun. 

Applying to jobs gives me anxiety like none other. But, I did do a few adult-responsible things like that as well. I wrote my graduation speech. Yeah, sorry ahead of time. It's short, to the point, includes nothing about high school, and is not in French. But, I like it. 

There are two families and a woman staying here at the present and I do believe that they are my favorite. The woman speaks a little English but doesn't use it very often, she has been helping me a lot with my French.

 The two families in total brought 5 kids. I. Have. Missed. Children. They are all over the place here but I haven't gotten to actually hold one in a while. They are all boys except for one girl who is not afraid to make friends. The baby had these gorgeous brown eyes and was dressed better than most guys I know, in suspenders. The girl came downstairs all by herself with what I assume to be her parents phone to show us pictures of her artwork while sitting in my lap. 

Jacob came back from his week and a half trip yesterday and recounted his journey. Never put him in the drivers seat of a manual car. I hope these last few weeks are filled with laughter and day trips and French. 

Collection Of Pictures from Wednesday

Yes, those are stingrays. No, this is not normal. 

We walked two hours both way to get to Cabourg (this town with the Ferris wheel) 

(I won)