Je ne sais pas

You know how beautiful it becomes right after a heavy rain or thunderstorm? That picturesque scene and feeling decribes my day today. 

Totally blessed. Full of grace. Everything becoming clear. Life can begin again. Maybe even better off and quenched of thirst. 

God is so good. If you seek him in everything, you may hurt and not think you can survive, but it is irrelevant, because he provides and cares for all our needs in the end. 

I feel bad, this morning Elvira was supposed to leave at 6 to pick up the group in Paris.. Only their plane got rerouted and Faith and I were not aware of this. So I mean Faith got up and took a "shower" (in the tub spray thing). Then I did. With a lot of loud music because there is no other way to take a shower. Just jammin out. Then we were both talkative and just dumb silly this morning (which never happens). I start to open the door and I see Elvira's keys in the lock and oh I wish I could've seen my face. I tip toe back to our room and conveyed the message to Faith who manifested a similar look of utter shock. Aha. Oops. 

The sun was out today = Claira est heureuse. 

It was also John's birthday today (oh john) so Brett and Robin baked up a ton of cookies and shared them with our class and faculty. On top of that, they bought him plenty of groceries for the next month to help him through. I cannot convey how blessed I am to have them here. They have such kind and courageous hearts. I'm convinced they will heal the lost and sad souls over here one person at a time. They have plenty of determination for it. 

I bought some new music (Sia- Chandelier/Elastic Heart and Fall out Boy- Sugar We're Going Down:tres bien). I've listened to the same stuff everyday on the hour and a half commute for the past three months. So that makes my life a lot better in itself. Even if it's three songs. It's like a surprise treat when they turn on in my shuffle. 

I love walking up to my third floor apartment around dinner time because every floor holds a new smell of French cuisine. It makes me feel closer to these neighbors I have never met somehow. 

I bought some flowers that were on sale for said apartment. 

Je suis finis. 

I just like this picture.

Just a bit of ketchup

They actually do eat ketchup here. There is a single large dispenser in the cafeteria that I unashamedly visit frequently. 

Every day at lunch I eat one and a half boiled eggs. And a roll. The main dish and dessert are irrelevant as long as I get the first two. 

Now time to "catch up". Ha. 

We went to a ballet last night. It was really fun mostly because I enjoy Faith and Jacob. The ballet itself was modern and included half naked dancers and random music. But it was most definitely the most entertaining show yet. 

I wear the one black dress I bought at the beginning of this crazy adventure and it has become my "concert dress". I have a pre-concert ritual that includes a shower, actually blow-drying my hair (a big deal these days), a touch of eyeliner and a spritz of perfume (again, very sacredness rituals). 

So I mean, when a girl is all dolled up (like so) it doesn't matter what she is going to watch, it's going to be a good night. 

Older women here have no problem asking for help. I have been approached on multiple occasions, mostly at the supermarket, by itty bitty cute-as-buttons old ladies with a "bonjour, excuse moi,... Si vous plait". My favorite encounter so far has been the three foot two asking for help reaching the top shelf for her night cream. So precious. 

I cannot describe the frustration I feel nowadays. 

Now I can comprehend most if not all aspects of a conversation. In church Sunday, I understood all that this little old man was saying to me. But even though I'm far enough along to understand and hear I can't think fast enough to come up with a response so I'm left with head nods. It's makes me so upset to be so close to conversing with these people yet unable to return commentary. 

Lots of new experiences over here. Some good some bad. Lots of learning opportunities for sure. I'm learning a lot about life. 

Quelques Photos

Colleen's Last Blog (a tad delayed)

I'm sitting in the plane in Paris waiting to fly back to Chicago. I feel like I have a permanent smile programmed into my brain and displayed on my face I could not have envisioned a more enjoyable week. The days were spent walking around the town of Francville, scrubbing the cold room in the kitchen, lounging in the afternoon sun on the beach and eating copious amounts of French cuisine. Watching Claira navigate a new language and develop lifelong friendships with such wonderful people makes me so humble. How do I deserve such joy? How can any one person be so blessed? My gratitude for those that have shaped and molded Claira into the young woman she is today has no end. I dare not try to list the family, friends and teachers for fear of forgetting someone. Please know that I hear your words of wisdom in her reflections, I see the joy you have shared with her in her eyes, and I feel the confidence brought forth through a deep sense of peace in her smile. I am counting the days until I hold her again. 

New Room, New Me

I tell you what, there is always something new and changing here. Routine is an outline for daily life. 

Just this week I moved from my room here at the institute into Elvira's apartment with her and Faith due to the first of the groups arriving this week. 

I like it because it's a pretty independent life. I've got my own set of keys (yes I am proud of this) and come and go sometimes without seeing Faith or Elvira. 

There is no shower. It's a spray thing in a bath tub. I'm not going to lie I was a tad weary of this at first. However, my first experience with it yesterday surprised me. 

I'm a fan. 

It's like a shower. Except you get to sit down. It's fantastic. 

I also brought over a mattress from the institute (yes I'm a princess) so I sleep on two mattresses and I'll wake up in the middle of the night to find I've fallen into the the abyss that is the space between my mattress mountain and wall. 

I've been having these super vivid, realistic dreams that makes me question reality. 

Quite a few mornings I have woken up to things like my mother in the room or Faith cleaning the closet or me turning my alarm off only to actually wake up a few seconds later and am left to decipher what has actually happened. 

That may be a side effect of sleep deprevation. 

But I shouldn't complain. Because: 

a) I'm so busy and entertained that there are no side affects (except the lucid dreams and excessive eating habits)

b) Everybody else here has been working so hard even through their sicknesses 

The only ones not sick are Faith, Jacob and I (we've got those young, invincible immune systems). 

I need to run today. And take a shower. And do my homework. And skype. And laundry. And clean. And socialize. Nah. 

Guest Blogger (mom)

 

Oh, to be in France.  I arrived on Saturday morning around 10am and had to wait until 9pm to see Claira. She had a class field trip that she had to attend.  The day seemed to go on forever!  I almost leapt from the car to hug her when I saw her.  Okay, I did leap from the car when I saw her.  Best hug ever!!  We spend the next day talking, giggling, and hugging. She just kept looking at me and grinning from ear to ear.  

I decided to spend Monday at the University with her.  Awake at 5:45, shower, a quick breakfast of bread, jam and chocolate, and then a brisk 10 minute walk to the bus stop.  Walk from the bus stop to the tram, ride the tram to the University, walk from the tram, down a set of stairs, through an outdoor graffiti laden tunnel, and into one of the buildings on campus, up two flight of stairs to class and wait until the professor arrives.  Quite the ordeal before even starting!   I went to each class.  I must confess it was intimidating.  During the second class, the professor insisted that I participate.  I did my fair share of scraping through French pronunciation before class ended.  The professor was both kind and forgiving.  All three of the classes were engaging, active and extremely rigorous.  I was impressed with how much Claira has learned up to this point.  The members of her class are quite the cast of characters.  They include students from Albania, Ukraine, Syria and the U.S; a doctor, an engineer,  a mother of two and several college students.  I loved the variety of viewpoints and engagement within the class.  They have formed quite a bond as they are together all day for each class.  I was exhausted by the time we arrived home around 6:00.

(i will here attach the only picture we have together that she approves of-feat. Faith)

Mes Amis

Relationships are complex around the world. I find relationships between people to be the most interesting thing. 

The dynamics and set-up of said relationships differ immensely from country to country. 

Americans are friends with everyone. Their spouse, their best friend, their neighbor, the random people they cross on the sidewalk, the guy who picked up their pencil, the girl two rows back in class, the dude across the street with the same shirt on, their neighbor'a dog, the list is endless. Yet, if the man who made conversation with them in the subway the day before called them up asking for a favor- they would be a little put off. 

We may have a hundred friends and one best friend. 

The French only value these "best friend" relationships. 

They will have a small group of really close friends that they will keep for life.

They seriously do not take these things lightly here. If you are accepted into one of these intimate circles you are there for life no questions asked. 

This makes life different over here. 

When walking down the street here, you avoid eye contact to the person you pass. 

I, of course I'm American, took offense to this at first. I didn't understand why these people were so above me that they couldn't be bothered to acknowledge me. 

I didn't understand the culture. 

They were being polite.

In their minds, it would be rude to make eye contact and give nothing more than a shallow nod of the head or "good day" (again, there is no value in shallow relationships). 

When we say "hello" or "good morning" we mean nothing by it other than "I see you". When I receive a "bonjour" here, it is an invitation of friendship. Which can be accepted or denied, either is acceptable. If I accept, I reciprocate the "bonjour". If I do not, I simply ignore (this is more acceptable in a situation when it is a guy talking to me). If it is a professional relationship (me buying bred and conversing with the boulangère). It must be wrapped up with a "merci!" pause "au revoir!"  

There is no situation too inconvenient to greet a friend. 

Walking around the jungle of a cafeteria, I could make eye contact with a guy from the bible study I go to once a week (all French, no English, so it's not like I've had real deep, good talks with these people) and he will make his way to me and we will do the "bisous" (cheek kiss thing) with trays in hand and people knocking into us. "Bonjour, ça va?" "Oui, ça va!" "A bientôt!" "A bientôt!"

Every. Time. 

When walking into a room (such as a church, dinner, a classroom) you must shake hands and/or bisous every male and bisous every woman. One by one. Only then is it acceptable to relax and begin to converse or go about your business. 

They really have a way of making you feel wanted.

Life is good. 

🇫🇷