THE Colosseum

Oh it was just perfect. 

I have the best colosseum experience. 

And what is great is that we didn't plan anything out or have any agenda in mind.

It started with our favorite little pizzeria. 

We were regulars. 

You have to understand that Marci and Madison just make friends everywhere they go- mostly because they have no shame (I admire that). 

So we had definitely bonded with the "papa", the owner of the place, along with his son and daughter. 

They tried to teach Madison Itlaian phrases, random customers were trying to help translate, papa made us a Nutella dessert no charge, and we got a fantastic group selfie with Marci's selfie stick (she whipped that thing out a lot). 

*okay so we took a lot of selfies 

So then the Colesseum.  

We just walked around, the weather was amazing (I was in short sleeves).

While Jacob continued to crawl around the levels and actually read the signs and history, the rest of us lounged on a fallen column in the sun and just tried to accept the fact that we were actually in the Colesseum in Rome. 

After a good half hour of this, we ambled in the direction of Michelangelo's "Moses". In the process of ambling we sat on this bridge that had the best view of the Colesseum. That was good. 

We found the statue and then decided we needed gelato again. 

However, we smelled kabobs before we had a chance to gorge ourselves with frozen goodness. 

So with our spicy kabobs and ice cold cokes we wound up back at the same bridge watching couples being couples pigeons being pigeons and the sun setting behind the Colesseum. 

It was a fantastic day. 

short story

Yesterday we were roaming around just walking looking for inspiration to do something. 

Madison is in constant search for gelato. Whether or not she ingested some for lunch or five minutes ago. If there is gelato- she will get some. 

Marci has no shame in asking for directions, recommendations, etc. 

We paused outside a fresh fish store. The owners are usually just standing outside if they don't have customers. 

This owner was knawing on some lunch when Marci asked where the nearest Gelato shop was. 

He then proceeded to walk us all the way there. Trying to communicate in animated Italian. 

There was no one there when we got there. He waited with us for a good fifteen minutes until the owner of the shop arrived. 

In the this span of time and "conversing" I  believe we unknowingly consented to marriage. All three of us. 

Speaking of gelato- it's hit or miss. I've experienced both. It's completely worth it. 

I now understand the seduction of food. 

I am in love with a food. 

That food is honey gelato from I gelati di San Crispino. 

I can't even describe to you. 

Day 1

(my most favorite graffiti ever)

Vacation on my Vacation & Story within a Story

{So I'm going to Italy. 

Today. 

It's been a process let me tell ya. I would not have ever been able to do this without the help of my loyal companion Jacob. I wish I were perfectly capable to navigate from one station to another in Paris and ask for directions on how to receive our train tickets with less than five minutes to spare, I have discovered I am not that person. 

For those at home who really know me it will come as a shock, and distrust my conclusion, but as it turns out, when it comes to traveling.. I am a detail person *gasp*. Like actual details. And planning. And being.. On time... Wutt. 

I mean, my entire persona has not been compromised because, as it is, I have quite enjoyed the thrill of having no earthly idea on what we are doing and the foreign feeling of it all. 

But, alas, it is true. I have found the hamartia to my untimely nature. 

We are sitting in an airport outside of Paris now with no wifi, (this will be posted later) but as of now we are alive and well. 

(And having the freaking time of our lives)}

This was written 12 hours ago. Oh my geez a lot can happen in 12 hours. 

It began with a flight delay, surprise surprise, and lack of wifi. 

The lack of wifi affected the fact that we couldn't get a hold of the other girls in our group who were at the hotel all ready waiting for us to check in (it was on Javob's card). So we still don't know what happened to them. 

The latest check in time was midnight at the hotel we had planned on staying at (and had booked). As it neared 11:30 WHILE I WAS STILL FASTENED INTO THE PLANE I began to panic (due to the fact that our hotel was 30 min away). We got off, found each other and tried our best to make fast, smart decisions. 

The first step in this long line of logic and survival mode was to try and reach the hotel by phone and beg them to wait for us.

Only we don't have a phone that works here so that left us to the mercy of the two pay phones by the back door. 

It ate 1€ and each time I put in more it said it costed another and another. The other just didn't work all together. Having given up on this, we just decided to hope for the best and race outside to hail a taxi. There was a very long line of other clueless tourists. We were the last ones in the clueless tourists line. A single taxi came approx. every 15-20 minutes. 

Initiate full panic mode. 

At this point I'm not sure what I thought I mean besides, "dear Jesus I still trust you and all but uhh you are going to keep us safe right?" 

Jacob had wifi at that airport so he searched for a good half hour for hotels we could check into that late. We found a few (with my help) and just chose one. 

There was a legal line for taxis and a spot for illegal taxis. 

I counted three legal taxis all together. 

At about 12:45 I was set on sticking with the legal no matter what. By 1, as the line slowly got smaller, both taxis started to dwindle. When there were four of us left standing on the curb I was almost convinced that was it, we would have to either walk to a hotel nearby (this airport is not in the center of Rome it's on the outskirts, we were not in a city scene) or huddle together somewhere and miserably (yet adventurously) take on the night (as scenes of mafia crime flash through my head). 

After an eternity of waiting, one beautiful illegal taxi comes around the corner. Now I said there were four of us. One other couple were ahead of us. However, I was not, not getting in that taxi. So after they pointed to their address for Luigi (I don't know his actual name, if I had a guess though it would definitely be Luigi) I barged my way in and pointed to my address pointedly. Short convo between the French couple and us and we were on our way. 

The Frenchies were staying at a five star hotel, but they were open this late. I wanted to ask if they had any availability so Luigi was all like, "oh-a no-a problem, I'll-a wait here."

They said they didn't have availability. They were liars and I hate them. Yeah I had been traveling for a good 7 hours so I didn't look on my a-game but I was willing to pay. 

So back to Luigi, with some address to a hotel we found online. 

May I just say, Luigi's driving=impeccable if you are concerned about time. We drove places I didn't know you could drive, especially at certain speeds. I mean we flew over curbs, through lights and on tram tracks. 

At my attempt to be helpful I ended up backing out of the page with our hotel's address. We now had no idea where to go and no idea how much it was going to cost for this ridiculous taxi ride. 

Luigi was very helpful. But I still can't tell if he wanted extra cash or he genuinely wanted to help. Either way we were just driving looking for hotels when we stumbled upon Hotel Bled. 

Yeah I was a little skeptical as well. 

I ran inside and behind the desk is the cutest old Italian man you've ever seen. 

There was a room available. 

Maybe I was a little flustered, maybe it was because I'm young but as Jacob went to pay Luigi, this man told me I could pay the next day (as I am trying to count my euros with a shaky hand). He took care of everything. And handed us the golden key. 

 We finally made it safe. And we laughed at the fact that both of us thought we would for sure be sleeping in an alley. 

So today I'm in Rome. 

And though tired, thoroughly excited to browse the city. 

Who am I

This morning's walk on the beach resulted in a revelation, as morning walks on the beach usually do. Most of my life, even as a child my biggest question was why me? 

Who. Am. I. To deserve this happy life. I have not earned it. I am not a saint. I could never believe I have the ability to please God with my actions. I have disappointed and coward far too many times for that. 

I use to come up with all kinds of answers, the biggest of which being: something awful is going to happen to me so I was meant to live a happy life beforehand. I honestly waited and waited for this something to occur. It still could, but the answer I was looking for is now as clear as an answer can be coming from the divine into the ears of a mere human. 

There is no balance and rewards system. One does not earn a happy life. Or earn an awful life. Nor do these two states of living balance out by the time of your last breathe. 

The answer I found in a song and a bible verse. The song: Who am I by Casting Crowns:

Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth

Would care to know my name,

Would care to feel my hurt?

Who am I, that the Bright and Morning Star

Would choose to light the way

For my ever wandering heart?

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done.

Not because of what I've done

But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow.

A wave tossed in the ocean.

A vapor in the wind.

Still You hear me when I'm calling.

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling.

And You've told me who I am.

I am Yours, I am Yours.

Who am I, that the eyes that see my sin

Would look on me with love and watch me rise again?

Who am I, that the voice that calmed the sea

Would call out through the rain

And calm the storm in me?

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done.

Not because of what I've done

But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow.

A wave tossed in the ocean.

A vapor in the wind.

Still You hear me when I'm calling.

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling.

And You've told me who I am.

I am Yours.

Not because of who I am

But because of what You've done.

Not because of what I've done

But because of who You are.

I am a flower quickly fading,

Here today and gone tomorrow.

A wave tossed in the ocean.

A vapor in the wind.

Still You hear me when I'm calling.

Lord, You catch me when I'm falling.

And You've told me who I am.

I am Yours, I am Yours, I am Yours.

Whom shall I fear?

Whom shall I fear?

'Cause I am Yours, I am Yours.

The verse: John 8:42-47

42 Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I have come here from God. I have not come on my own; God sent me.43 Why is my language not clear to you? Because you are unable to hear what I say. 44 You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies. 45 Yet because I tell the truth, you do not believe me! 46 Can any of you prove me guilty of sin? If I am telling the truth, why don’t you believe me?47 Whoever belongs to God hears what God says. The reason you do not hear is that you do not belong to God.”

Those who hear from the devil and carries out his desires and commands belong to the devil. They are slaves to him because the devil has no love. Those who love God honestly and truthfully and hear his commands and wishes, belong to God. Yet we are his sons and daughters, not slaves, because God is love (John 4:8). 

I love God with all my being and that is not just a statement it is a truth, and it is all-consuming. There is no other way to love. 

With this in mind, God is my father. Not new news to all you church-goers out there. But understand this: this means he considers us his children. He treats and loves me as his daughter, because I am. This thought is incomprehensible to me because I do not deem myself worthy enough to have this title. But He has said it is so. 

I have been fortunate enough to have an incredible earthly father that shows me what is like to be loved as a daughter. I am spoiled with love. So much so, that I am correctly disciplined, even if it hurts my father to do so, he does it because he loves me  and being punished and put through trials makes me stronger and saves me in the end from destruction.   

With his example, I see how it is God treats me as his daughter as well. He loves me. I seek him. 

Aaaaaand a picture of this beautiful morning will of course be included for a visual: